Jhane Wilcox

We’ve all heard the biblical commandment to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And we should treat people as well as we wish to be treated. But the truth is other people don’t always treat others so well. So many of us have found ourselves on the receiving end of what frankly is a shitty way to be treated. Some have loved that person that takes them for granted or even treats them horribly but in spite of that they give them their all in hopes/wishes that they will “come to their senses.” Some have given exhausting amounts of hours and efforts to a company only to be repeatedly looked over or left hanging in the wind with nothing but their dreams and heart in their hands. Some have given so much to family to keep all the balls juggling to make everyone happy only to be left feeling unappreciated, used and often times let down. Focusing SOLELY on doing everything for others as you “wish” they would do unto you often leaves many of us drained, heartbroken, and frustrated.


Years ago there was a wildly popular book, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, it talks about how we learned kindness and sharing and so forth. But I remember something else from kindergarten. Do you remember the story of the little red hen? Remember she reached out to the other animals for help and support and they all left her high dry so she had to muster up her strength in every situation and resolve to do whatever the task was for herself.

I believe we have to take a similar approach to our lives. We have to find our voice to stand up and say, “Then, I’ll do it myself!”


Love yourself like you wish that partner would. Be kind to yourself, respect yourself, and put yourself first like you wish they would! If they don’t give you flowers, buy some for yourself. Whatever it is that you WISH they were doing for you and you’re not getting, muster up your inner Little Red Hen and give it to yourself girl.

That energy that you put into that job that didn’t elevate you, put into your own passion. Nowadays, everyone has a side hustle, right? Why shouldn’t you make your side hustle be around the career path or skill you’ve used to make others successful. Designers can create custom pieces and sell them on places like Etsy or Envato. Bakers can sell their own confections. Got the gift of persuasive gab, become a motivational speaker and hold workshops at your local library. Whatever your passion or skill is, put give YOURSELF some of that effort you’ve given to others.

Feeling unappreciated or overwhelmed with family obligations, carve out some time for yourself to appreciate you. Go get a mani/pedi or go to the gym or whatever will say to yourself that you appreciate you. Turn off your phone for that hour and give yourself uninterrupted space. The world won’t fall apart in that hour and if it does, well, it won’t matter because the sky has fallen in anyways and we’re all in living in a Mad Max movie!

Look, all I’m saying is that we will never be able to control how other people treat us but we can control how we treat ourselves.  It’s ok to love yourself as much as you love your partner, job, family or whatever. Taking care of yourself and finding happiness inside yourself is so important to you overall wellbeing.  So ladies, it’s time be the Little Red Hen of your own story and muster up your strength to take care and love yourself like you wish others would.

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